The Weekly Wrestling Wrap-Up #24
Well, the column has moved to Wednesdays, as you’ve noticed. So, given that that allows for the exact same alliteration, why is the column still keeping the original name? Put plainly, just because the basis of the week being covered now ends with RAW instead of SmackDown, that doesn’t mean that it will no longer cover a week. It has a few benefits, including the fact that it’s easier to include pay-per-views when there are a couple of days between the show and the article, instead of an overnight turnover. Anyway, let’s get on with the shows!
The Weekly Wrestling Wrap-Up only covers wrestling programs that are nationally televised in the United States. Think I’m missing one? Drop me a line!
- Main Event – Oct. 16, 2013
- UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: UNITED STATES CHAMPION Dean Ambrose def. Dolph Ziggler via pin fall with the head lock STO to retain the US Championship
- Santino Marella & Tons of Funk (w/ The Funkadactyls) def. 3MB via pin fall with The Cobra
- MR. MONEY IN THE BANK Damien Sandow def. R-Truth via pin fall with the full nelson slam
- The Great Khali def. Fandango via pin fall with the overhand chop
- SmackDown – Oct. 18, 2013
- The Wyatt Family (w/ Bray Wyatt) def. Kofi Kingston & The Miz via pin fall with a lariat
- NON-TITLE: Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella) def. DIVAS CHAMPION AJ Lee (w/ Tamina Snuka) via pin fall with a sit-out face slam
- CM Punk def. Big E Langston via pin fall with the Go To Sleep
- The Usos def. The Real Americans (w/ Zeb Colter) via pin fall with the Thrust Kick/Superfly Splash combo
- Daniel Bryan & WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS The Rhodes Brothers def. The Shield via pin fall with the busaiku knee
- RAW – Oct. 21, 2013
- NON-TITLE: Daniel Bryan def. UNITED STATES CHAMPION Dean Ambrose via submission with the Yes Lock
- Santino Marella def. Heath Slater via pin fall with the Cobra
- Randy Orton def. Dolph Ziggler via pin fall with the RKO
- The Bella Twins def. DIVAS CHAMPION AJ Lee & Tamina Snuka via pin fall with a sit-out face slam
- The Wyatt Family def. The Miz & Kofi Kingston via pin fall with the lariat
- Big E Langston & CM Punk def. INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION Curtis Axel & Ryback (w/ Paul Heyman) via pin fall with the Big Ending
- The Real Americans (w/ Zeb Colter) def. Tons of Funk (w/ The Funkadactyls) via submission with the Patroit Lock
- NUMBER ONE CONTENDER’S MATCH: The Usos vs. The Shield ended in a No Contest, both teams will be involved in the title shot
- WWE Championship
- Daniel Bryan came out on SmackDown to interrupt Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox. Daniel Bryan came out and talked about how he was going to win the WWE Championship at the Alliteratively Named Cell Match. He then warned them that The Big Show had managed to get past security, and Show’s music begins to play. Bryan then admitted it was a prank, and introduced the new WWE Tag Team champions, the Rhodes Brothers. Vickie said that she had had enough, and said that the three men were going to face the Shield. All three men were a little non-committal about their reaction. Before the SmackDown main event, they replayed Shawn Michaels speech on RAW. Then, Randy Orton came out and called Bryan way over his head with his fiancee, his catch phrases, and his match at the Alliteratively Named Cell-Themed Pay-Per-View, and declared that he (Orton) would win and become the face of the WWE again. After the opening of RAW with the Big Show (see below), Daniel Bryan came out when Triple H tried to announce Dean Ambrose in their match with each other. Later on, Stephanie and Hunter dealt with some business, but Shawn Michaels was in the office. He was in to say hello, and noted that their criticisms of Daniel Bryan was what they said about HHH and HBK. Shawn noted that what Show did was what D-Generation X did all the time to Vince McMahon. Stephanie said that when they did that, they were working for the company, whereas Big Show was not. Michaels said he didn’t have to grow up, unlike the other two parts of the trio, so he was going to have some fun. Later, they had a video montage about Daniel Bryan going to Shawn Michaels’ wrestling academy, and rising up in the business. To close RAW, they had the title match contract signing. HHH, Stephanie McMahon, Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, and Shawn Michaels were all in the ring for it. Orton got on the mic, and guaranteed that due to his experience, Bryan was going to be going down in the cage. Bryan came back and said that if not for a bunch of mitigating factors, he would be the WWE Champion. He then thanked Randy Orton for exposing himself, Triple H, and Stephanie McMahon for the terrible people they really are. Triple H then patronized Bryan. Bryan wound up challenging Triple H, but HHH said that Bryan was not a star. Shawn Michaels defended Bryan briefly, and then asked Triple H what happened to him, but said he didn’t care, since he was going to give the fans a new WWE Champion. Orton said HBK had an agenda against him, but HHH said that Michaels would do what’s right. HBK then asked HHH why he didn’t like Daniel Bryan, pointing out dozens of reasons – including that Bryan proved HHH wrong. As Orton began to talk down Bryan, The Big Show came out to the arena in a trailer-free semi truck, just to distract Orton long enough for Bryan to lay out Randy Orton. Bryan retreated up the ramp, then mounted the semi to celebrate with Show.
- World Heavyweight Championship
- John Cena left the WWE to get surgery on a really funky triceps. The moment he was allowed to start rehabbing it, he worked hard and long until he was back to fighting shape. Now, he’s coming after Alberto Del Rio’s World Heavyweight Championship. Or at least that’s what the promo video they re-aired on Main Event said. On SmackDown, Josh Matthews conducted an interview with Alberto Del Rio. They showed another promo video of John Cena. Del Rio responded, and said that he was the best person from Mexico – actually the best person in the building. He basically called Cena vanilla, broken down, and arrogant. He then showed Cena what would happen to his arm by putting Matthews in the Cross Arm Breaker. On RAW, they re-aired Cena’s video diary. They then showed a career retrospective, including his first ever match, and the crowd turning on him over the years, but him still retaining the fans’ support.
- The Big Show’s Continued Defiance
- They replayed the Rhodes winning the Tag Team Championships and Big Show retreating through the crowd on RAW. Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero opened SmackDown. Vickie talked about keeping order on her show, and noted that she had brought in Brad Maddox for that reason. Maddox declared that he had done everything to ensure that the Big Show would not show up. The aforementioned bit with Daniel Bryan happened to close the opener. Later on, before whatever match, The Big Show came through the crowd, stepped over the barrier, and played to the crowd a bit. He thanked the fans, and said that he was what was best for business. Maddox and Guerrero stormed out, telling him to get out of the building. That led to Brad Maddox getting the KO Punch, and Show leaving through the crowd. RAW opened with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon coming to the ring. Stephanie did a quick run-down of the Alliteratively named pay-per-view. Triple H said he respected the man officiating the WWE Championship match, but Big Show cut in and berated HHH for his lack of respect. HHH ran him down verbally, but Show said that he actually had plenty that he could hold over the two in the ring. Stephanie McMahon cut him off. Show came to the arena later, as detailed above.
- CM Punk Hates Paul Heyman
- They replayed the confrontation between Heyman and Punk on RAW an SmackDown before CM Punk’s match with Big E Langston. Paul Heyman came out and minimalized CM Punk’s victory over Langston, and built up Ryback, with Curtis Axel flanking them. Punk got on the microphone and pointed out that the Cell match meant that Heyman had agreed to trap himself with Punk in the Cell, and he said that Heyman was going to use the Cell for exactly how it was designed. Heyman quoted AC/DC, and brought Ryback and Axel down with him to attack Punk. Punk looked to be outnumbered, but suddenly, Big E Langston made the save, helping he and Punk to dispatch Ryback and Axel. On RAW, Punk came out to the stage, microphone in hand. He noted that the Cell structure, and what happens inside it, will define his career. He promised that he would incapacitate Ryback, and then brutalize Paul Heyman. Renee Young later interviewed Paul Heyman. Heyman went in to hyperbolics about the match, and went a little crazy, but then got control of himself because he was calculating and said that Punk can’t get past Ryback. Langston came in and confronted the trio, Ryback and Axel patronized Big E, and they scheduled a match on RAW. Ryback and Axel began to double-team Langston before the match even started, but Langston managed to fight out of it. Heyman tried to take out Langston with a kendo stick, making Langston stop his retreat. Just as Ryback and Axel managed to gain the advantage, CM Punk made the save, causing Vickie Guerrero to make it a tag team match.
- Bray Wyatt Targets Miz
- After the tag match on SmackDown, Bray Wyatt got on the microphone and made yet another somewhat indecipherable promo directly to The Miz. After the match on RAW, Luke Harper began to attack Kofi Kingston. The Miz came to make the save, but Erick Rowan took him down. The duo hung Miz on the ropes, and Bray began to talk about belief in the Creator, and life after death, before comparing himself to Thanatos. Follow the buzzards.
- The Real Americans against Los Matadores
- Zeb Colter was on commentary during the match between the Real Americans and The Usos. Los Matadores and El Torito came out, and when Colter came to stop them, El Torito gave Colter a Gore to the privates twice. After the match, the trio gave Jack Swagger the Samoan Senton Drop and celebrated with The Usos. Zeb was once again on commentary in a Real Americans match on RAW. After the match, Zeb Colter showed that he was now carrying around a bull whip.
- Other Stuff
- Santino Marella and The Great Khali came out dressed in Elvis Presley attire on RAW because they were in Memphis. After the match, Santino celebrated with hometown hero Jerry Lawler. Also on RAW, R-Truth promoted the WWE Shop. El Torito gave an interview in Spanish. A match between The Shield and The Usos broke down on RAW when Dean Ambrose got in the faces of Goldust and Cody Rhodes. As with the rest of the month, WWE is still aligned with the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
- Main Event
- That was one heck of a title match. Sure, everybody knew that Ziggler was never walking away as the champion on Main Event. But in the mean time, Ziggler put everything he could in to the match. The amount of offense he got in versus Ambrose barely eking out a victory made them both look like a million bucks.
- As much as 3MB is pretty much a joke, that attempt to stop the Cobra only to accidentally slingshot Santino back in to the ring was pretty awesome. It made them look united, but with a little bit of tunnel vision. Whether they’re going to remain jokes has yet to be seen, but if we’re getting an actual rivalry between 3MB and Tons of Funk instead of matches that are just on the show, I might approve.
- Normally, for the sake of fairness, I would rag on the WWE for having only five matches on a two-hour show, just the same as I rag on TNA for having a small number of matches. However, all of the matches got a decent amount of time, and none of them felt like filler. Even the worst match – the Divas – was used to further a story line. Plus, the wWE did imply that we would have had six matches if not for the Big Show making an “unscheduled” visit, so there’s that.
- Well, if you’re going to basically have an absentee opponent (and WWE has plenty of experience with that thanks to Brock Lesnar), you could do worse than having Del Rio make a speech about his superiority and his intention to put his challenger right back on the shelf.
- Speaking of Brock Lesnar, I’m moving on to Paul Heyman. I like how Langston basically took it to Heyman’s flunkies because Heyman called him barely competent in the ring. He isn’t aligned with Punk; Paul Heyman yet again put his foot in his mouth one too many times, and gained another enemy. I really want to see where this one goes.
- The Cesaro Swing is always a great visual spectacle. Adding in the visual spectacle of El Torito’s moves, and I’m liking this rivalry, especially if it means we won’t see Los Matadores repeatedly defeating 3MB just for the sake of defeating 3MB.
- Everything involving the WWE Championship and The Big Show is actually working for me. I used to hate that Triple H and Stephanie McMahon made the show about them, but now that they’re actually secondary, they’re tolerable.
- Well, if they’re going to make Dolph Ziggler the guy that all the top guys beat when they need a win, at least they’re making it look like he’s losing by inches instead of by miles.
- The tag team division actually has some momentum behind it! Sure, it will probably fizzle a bit soon, but we have both a rivalry over the titles and a rivalry based on mutual dislike.
- Big E Langston has gone from lackey to a viable competitor in quite a short period of time, and I think it works.
- Main Event
- You know how I’ve said that the WWE manages to put four matches in to a one-hour show when I’ve complained about how much time TNA spends with out-of-ring segments. Usually, the four matches make sense to be on the show, as it’s three matches of decent length and one quick match to close out everything. Although this edition of Main Event tried to follow that formula, because Ambrose and Ziggler went to just-below Pay-Per-View quality, there really wasn’t enough time on the show for more than two more decent matches, skipping the squash altogether. However, the wWE had scheduled four matches, so they were sure as anything going to put all of them on. What that meant was that we got one good match and three matches that were almost entirely forgettable (and I’ve already detailed the few good points).
- Bryan, Rhodes, and Goldust basically giving Vickie a blank reaction for her “shocking” revelation of a match with The Shield both no-sold the threat of the Hounds of Justice and emphasized just how obvious that was. It’s like that dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding using Windex to fix everything. Have a problem? Call The Shield. It’s lazy story telling at its worst, and it’s getting a little boring.
- Speaking of boring, Randy Orton. That is all.
- Well, they’re trying their hardest to make Brie Bella a fan favorite, but AJ Lee getting cheered for declaring that her moves are why she’s the champion doesn’t bode well for that. Given that the Bellas have almost always been the “mean girl” stereotypes that mock women for the most miniscule of things, AJ giving one of them a beat-down feels kind of like comeuppance. They really should be focusing on Natalya instead of Brie, considering the point that AJ is making about the Total Divas, but of course, the wWE botched that. Remember when I was just saying, “The Bellas were on the show,” as a catch-all for what was wrong with it? I may go back to that.
- The Bellas. Yep, it feels right to do that. WWE can try all they want to make me like them, but in the context of a WWE show, they are never going to get cheers from me.
- So, how obvious could they possibly make it that John Cena is winning the World Heavyweight Championship? Well, that video made it fairly obvious.
- The confusion over who actually should challenge for the Tag Team Titles was a little weird.
- CONTINUES ON PAGE TWO