Megan Fox is an Alien Lover – Joins TMNT Cast

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*Sigh* Here we go again. The Mayan’s might have been off by a couple of months, but the apocalypse is definitely still on. The ironically-still-being-called-an actress Megan Fox has seemingly reconciled with explosion coordinator Michael Bay. The pyromaniac recently announced the blood feud between himself and Fox has ended and that Fox will be joining the cast of the upcoming Not-Teenage Maybe-Alien Ninja Turtles film.

Since the acquisition of the right to the TMNT franchise by Nickelodeon, a desperate attempt to cash out on the series has been underway. Unswayed by the lackluster performance of TMNT in 2007, Nickelodeon somehow convinced Paramount Pictures to jump the shark and produce another live action film. Compounded by the news that the slime the studio is known for is incredibly flammable, executives had the bright idea to bring the one man who knows more about fire than anyone else on board to produce the film; Michael Flaming Bay. The film, originally slated for a 2012 launch, has (fortunately) been push back twice. Most recent reports speculate that a 2014 release is (unfortunately) likely, while the studio still hasn’t announced a specific release date. Filming is set to begin in April of this year. Get it; April… nevermind.

The latest in Michael Bay’s personal arsenal of sure-to-anger-30-somethings film will see major changes to the franchise. The famed Turtles will no longer be teenagers and are not the result of a chemical mutation. Instead, Bay has opted to return to Cybertron to collect a handful of aliens that will play the part of the Ninja Turtles. Though not confirmed, it is likely Michael Bay received this idea after playing with toys that merged Transformers with TMNT characters.

Also new to the series is a conversion of the antagonists from the evil rogue ninja Shredder and his Foot Clan to a special black ops commando team called ‘The Foot” led by a “Col. Schrader.” This is probably an attempt to attract the Call of Duty crowd, or confuse Wolverine fans (Schrader/Striker).

You’ll get it later.

While reports from inside the Bay camp have been sporadic, fans of the original series have all but dismissed the movie as a money grab aimed at younger generations that have no recollection of the original series. While this may be true, reports also detail that the script and story board have seen several revisions to refine the film in an attempt to grab the support of a portion of the older fan base.

At the same time, Bay has done little to ease the fears of loyal fans, mostly by using his site to call for fans to “calm down” and reiterating they know nothing about the upcoming film. This has left Nickelodeon and Paramount Pictures with the ever fun task of damage control. Unconfirmed reports cite ‘damage control’ to be as high as 45% of the budget of most of Michael’s films.

Fortunately, the possibility of a zombie apocalypse or asteroid collision remain high. (It’s in the bible; look it up.) We may not have to worry about the Middle Age Alien Pirate Geckos after all.

Author: Jimmy Sharp

Dylan Zellmer

I split time between games journalism and making video games. My love of it’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones), fitness and my family define me otherwise.